


Tired

by RoseThornhill



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Comfort, Declarations Of Love, F/M, Gen, Post-Episode: s11e10 My Struggle IV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-08 01:31:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14094096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseThornhill/pseuds/RoseThornhill
Summary: This is set after "My Struggle IV" (obviously). This is a quick attempt to wash the taste of that finale out of my mouth, help me sleep at night. Clearly this doesn’t fix the finale.





	Tired

She had never been so tired in all her life. It wasn’t just physical exhaustion. She was emotionally spent. No matter the truth of his origin, she will always see William as her son. She wasn’t sure how Mulder felt, and she was too tired to have that discussion now. For now, he seemed content with the happy news. That was enough for her.

She could barely drag her weary bones up the stairs. She actually considered crashing on the couch, but she couldn’t bear the thought of not lying beside Mulder. He had to support her up the stairs. It had been at least 24 hours since she had slept, and she was supposed to be sleeping for two now. 

She collapsed onto the bed and contemplated putting on her pajamas. But she just couldn’t. “I’m gonna take a quick shower,” he said. “You… wanna join me?” She smiled but shook her head. Too tired. She understood why Mulder needed a shower – he had the blood of a dozen people on him. He took her face into his hands, just for a moment, then disappeared into the bathroom. She took off her shoes, and her watch, but that was it. 

She was mostly asleep by the time Mulder got out of the shower. Her body was asleep, and her mind was halfway there. This wasn’t hypnogogia or sleep paralysis; she was physically numb, but couldn’t quiet her mind. He slipped into bed beside her, following her lead of forgoing pajamas. She could feel his nervousness as he perched beside her, unsure if it was proper to assume he could just share a bed with her. But then it was as if the events of the past 24 hours finally hit him. She felt him sag beside her and scoop her into his arms.

He stroked her hair and began to talk to her sleeping form. “I'm sorry,” he whispered. A beat, like he was composing his thoughts. “When you told me... about William...." He trailed off. "I thought that I got you back because of William. And I thought that I would lose you because of him."

The words tumbled faster now. "We tried. We couldn't make it work. I couldn't make it work. I pushed you away. I didn't do it on purpose, I don't think. But then, when you came back, when you agreed to work with me again, it was because of William. Our son. And Scully, I thought when he... that was it. You wouldn't have any use for me anymore. You would be done, again. And I couldn't stand the thought of losing you again. You are my everything." A tear dropped onto her head. Her body was still asleep, but her mind was terrifyingly alert.

"The moment you walked into my office, twenty-whatever years ago... I knew my life was changed," he murmured. "It wasn't that you were the first woman to ever walk into my office. You were - are - the smartest person I know. I knew, from our first conversation, that you were a force to be reckoned with. I knew I was falling in love with you during our first case, when we were fighting on the road. Every subsequent argument made me love - and respect - you more.

"But I knew you were too good for me. I was waiting for the day when you would figure that out and leave. It didn't happen soon enough to save you... save you from me." He sniffled and she desperately wanted to hold him, reassure him, but she couldn't. She was just too tired.

He took a moment to compose himself. "I promise... I promise I will always be there for you. And you." He put his hand on her abdomen. "If you have weird pregnancy cravings in the middle of the night, I will fulfill them for you, no matter how disgusting," he swore. "And you" - he patted her belly - "are going to be so spoiled. You won't have to pray for a puppy."

She felt him relax a little bit against her. "This is all I have ever wanted. This is my truth." She struggled, drew every last bit of energy she could muster, and finally responded.

"I love you Mulder. Now shut up." And with that, she drifted to sleep, safe in his arms.


End file.
